Having two kids to take care of is hard... Because Walter is so demanding I often feel so discouraged that I don't get to give very much of my attention to Lena... I could not ask for a better big sister to Walter...she never shows any sign of jealousy and is so good at playing on her own and being happy...oh how i miss having more time with her... I feel like a terrible mother of two a lot of the time because i lose my patience too quickly...here's an example:
The other day Lena and I were eating at the table and I was giving Walter his vitamin little by little because it made him take his binky and stay calm while we ate... Lena was being hyper and wanted to hold it...i told her "no"because it could spill...i had to say this several times...well i got up to get something and came back to the vitamin spilled all over the table...just then Walter started screaming... I lost my patience and yelled at Lena. She got offended and ran to her room... She never does that, we usually have to put her in her room. I broke down crying telling myself I was not cut out for this and discouraged at what I got myself into. Poor Lena, who just wanted to do what I was doing and who is always so good and patient with me never being able to attend to her right away, got yelled at... Well in the midst of my tears Lena returns downstairs to find me in my sad state... "why are you sad?" She asked. I said "I'm sad that i yelled at you, I'm so sorry" she quickly said "it's okay, here, let me get you something" and she ran to grab me a granola bar, "here, if you eat this you will be happy" later she said "I'm sorry". "For what?" i asked... "for yelling at you".
Oh Lena, how grateful i am that you are so willing to forgive me and my shortcomings as a mom. You are truly like unto Christ who is so quick to forgive. I love you so much!
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